Tonight we begin with our beautiful battered pirate and the deliciously horrible Hades. Killian refuses to play his games and chisel his friend’s names into the headstones, so Hades sends him off to solitary, via a boat on the wretchedly … Continue reading
Okay, I started this list at 21- five for each season and one for season five (so far). I trimmed out some things that made me cry but landed on the happier end of the scale, I brushed aside some moments that felt like a fist in the gut and would surely make a top 40 list, but I just couldn’t get it down that low. I ended up with this. Every one of these moments brought the leakage to my eyes. Your mileage may vary, of course. So, in chronological order (to date), here they are:
Who can forget her grief as she handed that baby over? Heartwrenching.
After all he’d been through with his parents, and he’s such a gentle soul.
To have them put this dastardly deed in his lap was just…crushing. Continue reading
We begin this evening in the mines with the dwarves, who get a surprise visit from Emma. She’s decided to take Happy’s pickaxe, and when he protests, she shares this bit of advice:
“When your name is on something, hold onto it.”
And I call that a serious clue. I’m calling it for sure now, though I’ve had an inkling from the beginning. I don’t think Emma is controlling her dagger, despite having it in her hands last episode. Someone else is calling the shots here. Remember when Hook begged her to tell him what happened last week? Her answer was “I wish I could tell you.” Not “no” or “Eff you” or “I’m not going to tell you,” but “I wish I could tell you.” That’s another little clue, I think.
Flashback now to Camelot where Regina’s trying to whip up a potion to free Merlin from the tree. Snow suggests that they talk directly to Merlin via a magic toadstool she located in a book called “The Crimson Crown” which grows only in the Forest of Eternal Night. (I’m sure the forest is strictly forbidden to all students at Camelot castle, too). David pawns baby Neal off on Snow and goes with Arthur, who addresses him as ‘Your Majesty’.
Helloooo? Continuity? Last week, I remarked that they introduced Snow at the royal ball as “Lady Mary Margaret” instead of Princess (or Queen) Snow White and the only explanation anyone had for that bit of inconsistency was that maybe the royals were trying to stay undercover. Obviously, that isn’t the case. Anyway, enough bitching about continuity.
When last we left our heroes, they were face down on a diner floor wearing strange clothes with no memory of how they got there – or in other words, any Saturday night in college. Well, for me, at least.
Anyway, we’re back now and ready to start figuring out (again) how they lost their memories (again) and I’m sure there’s a surprising explanation (again) and it’ll all wrap up neatly by the mid-season hiatus (again).
So we open with Leroy and the dwarves in a van (Sneezy statue is strapped to the roof) rolling along to the town line. Leroy wants a volunteer to step over, and like a total a-hole, he sends Dopey because he’s the handicapped dude. Regina, David and Snow show up just as Dopey steps across the line and turns into a tree.
Good God, do I miss my show. Hiatus is torture. Torture.
But at least I have so many warm, fuzzy memories to keep me warm until the new season starts and they begin tearing my heart out all over again.
So let’s think back on some of the many utterly, awesomely adorable moments we’ve had so far, shall we? First, we’ll start where it all began…
Honestly, how cute could they be? Him so smug and smiling, her calling him “Prince Charming” in that saccharin-sweet tone. Gah! So freaking cute.
He moves like he’s part of the Riverdance cast, but that doesn’t keep Grandpa Charming from showing Henry some badass moves.
Okay, so it’s not easy finding Regina acting adorable, but when she lets that soft side out, it just turns you to pudding inside. Continue reading
One of the many reasons I enjoy Once Upon A Time is the fact that there’s no shortage of man-candy on that show. Oh my yes, the men are awfully nice to look at, and of course they battle epic villians (okay, one out of three for the second half of season four) and do lots of badass stuff in a delightfully sweaty or snarky way.
In addition to all that, though, they’re truly stand-up guys for the most part (Rumple gets iffy, so we’ll leave him out of the mix) and they’ve got each other’s backs when it counts. And in celebration of that mancandy mojo, I’d like to present some of my favorite Bro moments from the show so far:
Let’s talk about some serious biological bro-love, here. Who didn’t tear up at the sight of Killian, with his arms wrapped around a dying Liam, choking back the sobs?
You gotta admit, it was an awfully cute meeting. And despite their ins and outs, they seem to have a genuine affection for each other. And speaking of our friend, the Knave…
Like any good bro, Will knows how to bust someone’s chops. Good on ya, mate. Continue reading
That’s cutlass in Emma’s hand, me hearties!! And look at the Bandit Queen!
The evil Snow Queen!
We begin in the Enchanted Forest during the forgotten year, and Snow and David (along with Aurora and Philip) are preparing to announce publicly that the Prince’s seed has found purchase in the fertile field of his wife’s womb. Regina’s in a gorgeous gown, but for some reason, they’ve got her in this blinding white kabuki-style makeup that just looks really…odd.
Anway, Belle shows up and tells them all about Neal’s effort to resurrect Rumple and that Zelena now has the dagger. Aurora and Regina tell Snow (looking resplendant in her maternity wear) that now isn’t the time for a baby announcement, but Snow won’t hear of it. She wants to proclaim her bloating belly and swollen ankles to the world!
That’s when Aurora confesses that the witch is after a baby, specifically Snow’s baby – mainly because Aurora and Phillip totally told Zelena they were here.
Zelena promptly turns them both into flying monkeys and freezes them all in place while she fondles Snow’s belly in a really creepy way.
I was so excited when I saw the promos for this episode. First, because they actually cast a person of color (the Enchanted Forest is an Aryan dream, isn’t it?) and second, because this was Rapunzel. Rapunzel! I couldn’t wait!!
And as Storybrooke has taught me, fairy tales are made to be shattered.
Anyway. We start this evening in the castle during the lost year, and David is looking confused. I know, he does that a lot, but this time, he’s hearing a baby cry, so he goes to investigate. He enters Emma’s former nursery – which we know from Season 2 is in the other castle and demolished – but the room appears to be intact, including that iconic unicorn mobile (Sidenote prediction: They call back to that thing so damn much, it’s got to be flagged for something in the future. It’s cursed or carries an enchantment or something. I’m calling it now).
Standing in the room is Emma, in full princess-wear, asking him to teach her how to dance for her first royal ball.
Wrong.
Tonight we open with our wicked, wicked villain, who seems to have a taste for the finer things in life. She paws through Regina’s leftover jewels and then sends a flying monkey off to let “The Evil Queen” know she’s all up in her house.
Meanwhile the group is trudging along, presumably to Sherwood Forest, and lo and behold – it’s Red!!
Oh, we’ve missed you, Red! Regina, meanwhile has remembered the tunnel under the castle walls that only she knows about. She can get inside, lower the protection spell, and then David and Snow can send in their army.
Just as Regina lays out the plan, a screeching comes from overhead and they’re attacked by monkeys again. One heads straight for little Roland, and Regina steps in front of the boy to protect him, then turns the monster into a stuffed animal for Roland to enjoy. This earns her the thanks and more importantly, the interest of a certain outlaw.
Once Upon A Snarky Recap 