Once Upon A Time – Season 5, Episode 14 Recap: I Guess Only The Dead Get Closure

Tonight we begin with our beautiful battered pirate and the deliciously horrible Hades. Killian refuses to play his games and chisel his friend’s names into the headstones, so Hades sends him off to solitary, via a boat on the wretchedly … Continue reading

30 Times The Writers Of Once Upon A Time Kicked Me In The Feels

Okay, I started this list at 21- five for each season and one for season five (so far). I trimmed out some things that made me cry but landed on the happier end of the scale, I brushed aside some moments that felt like a fist in the gut and would surely make a top 40 list, but I just couldn’t get it down that low. I ended up with this. Every one of these moments brought the leakage to my eyes. Your mileage may vary, of course.  So, in chronological order (to date), here they are:

1.Snow gives up baby Emma

1Who can forget her grief as she handed that baby over? Heartwrenching.

2. Jiminy realizes he’s killed Gepetto’s parents and will be stuck with his own parents forever

2After all he’d been through with his parents, and he’s such a gentle soul.

To have them put this dastardly deed in his lap was just…crushing. Continue reading

Once Upon A Time – Season 5, Episode 3 Recap: Arthur Is A Toadstool-Sucking Douchebag

We begin this evening in the mines with the dwarves, who get a surprise visit from Emma. She’s decided to take Happy’s pickaxe, and when he protests, she shares this bit of advice:

“When your name is on something, hold onto it.”

And I call that a serious clue. I’m calling it for sure now, though I’ve had an inkling from the beginning. I don’t think Emma is controlling her dagger, despite having it in her hands last episode. Someone else is calling the shots here. Remember when Hook begged her to tell him what happened last week? Her answer was “I wish I could tell you.” Not “no” or “Eff you” or “I’m not going to tell you,” but “I wish I could tell you.” That’s another little clue, I think.

Flashback now to Camelot where Regina’s trying to whip up a potion to free Merlin from the tree. Snow suggests that they talk directly to Merlin via a magic toadstool she located in a book called “The Crimson Crown” which grows only in the Forest of Eternal Night. (I’m sure the forest is strictly forbidden to all students at Camelot castle, too). David pawns baby Neal off on Snow and goes with Arthur, who addresses him as ‘Your Majesty’.

Helloooo? Continuity? Last week, I remarked that they introduced Snow at the royal ball as “Lady Mary Margaret” instead of Princess (or Queen) Snow White and the only explanation anyone had for that bit of inconsistency was that maybe the royals were trying to stay undercover. Obviously, that isn’t the case. Anyway, enough bitching about continuity.

Continue reading

Once Upon A Time – Season 5, Episode 2 Recap: True Love’s Near Miss

When last we left our heroes, they were face down on a diner floor wearing strange clothes with no memory of how they got there – or in other words, any Saturday night in college. Well, for me, at least.

Anyway, we’re back now and ready to start figuring out (again) how they lost their memories (again) and I’m sure there’s a surprising explanation (again) and it’ll all wrap up neatly by the mid-season hiatus (again).

So we open with Leroy and the dwarves in a van (Sneezy statue is strapped to the roof) rolling along to the town line. Leroy wants a volunteer to step over, and like a total a-hole, he sends Dopey because he’s the handicapped dude. Regina, David and Snow show up just as Dopey steps across the line and turns into a tree.

Continue reading

16 1/2 Awesomely Adorable Moments From Once Upon A Time

Good God, do I miss my show. Hiatus is torture. Torture.

But at least I have so many warm, fuzzy memories to keep me warm until the new season starts and they begin tearing my heart out all over again.

So let’s think back on some of the many utterly, awesomely adorable moments we’ve had so far, shall we? First, we’ll start where it all began…

16. Snow gets caught by Prince Charming


Honestly, how cute could they be? Him so smug and smiling, her calling him “Prince Charming” in that saccharin-sweet tone. Gah! So freaking cute.

15. David teaches Henry how to sword fight


He moves like he’s part of the Riverdance cast, but that doesn’t keep Grandpa Charming from showing Henry some badass moves.

14. Regina gives Roland a stuffed monkey

list1Okay, so it’s not easy finding Regina acting adorable, but when she lets that soft side out, it just turns you to pudding inside. Continue reading

12 Great Bro Moments From Once Upon A Time

One of the many reasons I enjoy Once Upon A Time is the fact that there’s no shortage of man-candy on that show. Oh my yes, the men are awfully nice to look at, and of course they battle epic villians (okay, one out of three for the second half of season four) and do lots of badass stuff in a delightfully sweaty or snarky way.

In addition to all that, though, they’re truly stand-up guys for the most part (Rumple gets iffy, so we’ll leave him out of the mix) and they’ve got each other’s backs when it counts. And in celebration of that mancandy mojo, I’d like to present some of my favorite Bro moments from the show so far:

12. The Jones brothers sail for honor and glory (or so they think)


Let’s talk about some serious biological bro-love, here. Who didn’t tear up at the sight of Killian, with his arms wrapped around a dying Liam, choking back the sobs?


11. Robin saves the life of Will Scarlet


You gotta admit, it was an awfully cute meeting. And despite their ins and outs, they seem to have a genuine affection for each other. And speaking of our friend, the Knave…

10. Will impugnes the size of Killian’s….ship


Like any good bro, Will knows how to bust someone’s chops. Good on ya, mate. Continue reading