Tonight, we’re cruising with Hades in the car from Christine to the strains of “I Don’t Want to Set the World on Fire” (nice touch!). Hades takes Zelena to a bonfire picnic complete with wine on the side of the road … Continue reading
Holy cow, it’s here. It’s finally here! The endless hiatus is over, and we are packed and ready for the highway to hell!! We begin with Emma waking up in her VW Bug on a street in Portland, and we … Continue reading
Okay, okay….so I like my mancandy. But I’ve gotten some emails and messages from the male (some from the female) viewing audience asking me to spotlight the amazing women of Once Upon A Time. The only problem is….how do I pick just one picture for each girl?
Holy cow, are these women beautiful. And you add in the costumes (I think I’m going to do my next post just on the costumes) and they become other-worldly creatures, beyond comprehension.
So in the interest of fair play…I give you the remarkable women of Once Upon A Time and a collection of pics that I feel capture their outstanding beauty.
Ingrid the Snow Queen
That gown! That condescending smile! That cleavage!
And speaking of cleavage….anybody remember
We begin tonight with Regina, being paid a visit by her dear older sis, (bearing a basket of tart green apples, no less). Zelena starts in with her whining and Regina snarks about her envious ways. They hem and haw around each other until Zelena admits why she’s really there: as a distraction, so that Rumple can take her heart.
Over in the woods, Rumple is confronting Robin warning him away, when Roland shows up. He tells Robin that he doesn’t want to hurt Roland, but when Robin fires his never-miss arrow, Rumple redirects it toward Roland, holding it in mid-air until Robin hands the heart over.
He apologizes, takes the heart and leaves, dropping the arrow before it can hurt Roland. Regina shows up and Robin apologizes out the ass but Regina’s just glad Roland is okay. Regina points out that she’s still alive, which means Zelena has taken the heart for a far worse purpose.
Tonight we’re in the Enchanted Forest, near a shabby looking windmill, and a man who’s either dead, drunk or sleeping in a really awkward position. Guess number two turns out to be correct, when a beautiful young peasant woman pushing wheelbarrow rolls up and reads him the riot act. The drunken man is the local miller – that’s the guy that grinds the grain into flour, for those of you who aren’t busy reading trashy historical romance novels or active in the SCA.
The young woman delivers the flour to the nearby castle, and as she’s hauling the bags, she’s deliberately tripped by a snooty princess in a tiara and gorgeous dress. She falls, spilling a bit of the flower onto the princess’s shoe. The king intercedes and refuses payment on the flour, and further demands an immediate apology – from the peasant girl – for having the audacity to dirty a princess’s slipper. When the king condescendingly asks the peasant girl’s name, we learn that she is none other than our own Cora, in her youth, and DAMN. Just…DAMN girl.
The king orders her to kneel, and then forces an apology by threatening to use another Miller. Cora glares up at the smug princess -now identified as Ava (yes, that Ava – Snow’s mother as a much younger girl) and she gives her a stilted apology, with hatred shooting out of her eyes with the power of a thousand burning suns.
We begin tonight back in the Enchanted Forest, and oh, look! There’s Milah! The child abandoning, husband-belittling floozy tart who selfishly wraps her legs around a sexy pirate while her family suffers.
But I’m not bitter. I am actually just really glad she’s dead. One of the few people I can say that about on this show.
Anyway… Rumple comes running into their hovel, excited and happy and chirping with the news that he has been drafted into the Ogre wars. He’s so thrilled about facing potential death, he does a happy little dance that’s just freaking adorable: