Fair Is Fair – It’s Time For The Amazing And Beautiful Women Of OUAT!

Okay, okay….so I like my mancandy. But I’ve gotten some emails and messages from the male (some from the female) viewing audience asking me to spotlight the amazing women of Once Upon A Time. The only problem is….how do I pick just one picture for each girl?

Holy cow, are these women beautiful. And you add in the costumes (I think I’m going to do my next post just on the costumes) and they become other-worldly creatures, beyond comprehension.

So in the interest of fair play…I give you the remarkable women of Once Upon A Time and a collection of pics that I feel capture their outstanding beauty.

Ingrid the Snow Queen

That gown! That condescending smile! That cleavage!

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And speaking of cleavage….anybody remember

Jack

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Once Upon A Time – Season 3, Episode 17 Recap: My Love Is An Anchor Tied To You

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Yes, I titled this recap with an old school song reference. But it’s an awesome song so listen to it after you read.

This evening we begin on a quiet road in the Enchanted Forest, where a coach clatters along. Suddenly, a helmeted knight appears! No, that’s not a euphemism!

The coachmen asks who the man is and he replies (in a very deep voice) that he’s there to rob them, and even with the helmet obscuring his face and hidden by a suit of armor, there’s just no mistaking that crisp, Shakespearean elocution. Hello Hook! And don’t you look dashing in armor!

It turns out that Hook and his crew have turned to banditry in lieu of a ship, and they head off to celebrate their latest haul at a local tavern. The men have chipped in and bought Hook some female companionship for the evening (as if they’d have to pay any woman – please!) and he heads off with the tasty morsel, only to pay her off twice over with her promise that she won’t tell the men he was sending her on her way disappointed.

Awwww. A faithful pirate. My heart.

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And the reward he gets for his undying devotion is a club to the back of the head and a knife to his throat, courtesy of one really, really pissed-off mermaid.

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Once Upon A Time – Season 3, Episode 10 Recap: Oh, Is It Time For Another Curse Already?

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We begin this episode with Belle leading Ariel to Eric (and their smoochy Disney-bird reunion), just as the Jolly Roger breaks through the sky, streaking to a perfect landing (of course) in Storybrooke harbor.

The cheering crowds welcome our heroes home, and the Lost Boys are shuffled off to God knows where because we never see their sorry, scraggly asses again.

Belle tearfully hugs Rumple as Neal brings Rumple his gold-handled walking stick. Rumple tells his son it’ll be a reminder of the man he is no more.

Wendy finds her brothers, who are also thrilled to see Neal before they all head back to London, also never to be seen again.

In the middle of all these happy reunions, Snow directs everyone’s attention to Regina, giving her the praise she deserves as someone who really came through for them.

310BOh yes, she did…bitches.

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Once Upon A Time – Season 3, Episode 6 Recap: Whozits And Whatsits Galore

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We begin our episode running through the Enchanted Forest with our beloved bandit Snow White, with the queen’s soldiers in hot pursuit. They corner her on a cliff, and she chooses to jump into the sea over letting them take her. It’s a loooong way down and not looking so good for Snow, who blacks out when she hit the water. She is saved by  a mermaid – and not just any mermaid!

Ladies and Gentlemen, Ariel has arrived!

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Forward to Neverland now, where we see Regina trying to give Emma a magic lesson, and it’s not going well. She harps on Emma to focus, urging her to use her anger and channel it. Emma balks, insisting there has to be a way to use magic without taking it dark, but Regina is nagging at her until Emma gets good and pissed – and that finally lights the fire with magic.

David and Snow are watching from afar, not sure how they feel about all this, when Hook pulls them aside with a murmured “We need to talk.” He’s just come from his conversation with Pan, and without the slightest hesitation, he tells them that Neal is alive and on the island.

Snow immediately wants to tell Emma but David and Hook discourage that. Until they confirm that Neal is indeed alive and they can rescue him, it’s better to keep Emma in the dark and not hurt her all over again. Snow isn’t happy with keeping that secret (but come on, when has Snow ever been good at keeping a secret?) and she notes that secrets tend to keep you from the people you love. David gently reminds her that secrets can also protect the people you love.

Oh, David, right in the feels.

And into this confab strolls Emma, wondering what all the murmuring and furtive looks are about. David and Hook lie their shapely asses off, but Snow just blurts the secret right out. Emma’s shocked into silence, shooting a furtive glance at Hook.

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