Once Upon A Time – Season 5, Episode 6 Recap: A Tepid Brew With A Side Of Mancandy

We begin tonight breaking into Arthur’s prison in Camelot. The dynamic duo of Charming and Hook (that really ought to be a spinoff show when this one’s done) are kicking ass and taking names. Merlin is there to break Lancelot out, but we find Merida locked up as well.

Belle (who came along only to carry a book, it seems) figures out how to open the magic enchanted bars on the cells by reading something out of the book. Merida insists on finding Arthur since he took her wisps but Merlin says they’ll only bring her death and swears they’ll find another way to rescue her brothers.

And that’s pretty much the end of any exciting action in this episode. Seriously.

Forward to Storybooke now, where Regina informs Snow and company about Emma’s slip regarding the fact that they freed Merlin back in Camelot. She suggests using the Crimson Crown to talk to Merlin, since she’s figured out the communication spell that goes with the magical fungi. The problem is, Merlin will only appear to someone he’s “chosen”.

I would like to be chosen by Merlin. For whatever.

Belle suggests they use Rumple, since he’s a former Dark One and she gets shot down. David thinks they should talk to Arthur, instead.

Off in the woods, Rumple’s in an encampment bound up and sobbing over his chipped cup. He whispers an apology to Belle before he shatters it, using one of the shards to saw through his bonds.

Once Upon A Time – Season 5, Episode 4 Recap: Let’s Play “When The Hell Are We?”

We begin in Camelot “many years ago” (which is writerspeak for “don’t try to pin us down because we may screw with this timeline later). Young stable boy Arthur is already using his moves on young Guinevere, taking her to the tree where Merlin is trapped. Merlin apparently told Arthur his destiny, whispering from inside the tree. A group of young village bullies show up to taunt Arthur about his dreams for restoring the kingdom to its glory, but Guinevere believes in him.

Forward to Arthur trying to pull the sword and finding it incomplete. They rush back to Camelot where Arthur shows the people a carefully sheathed Excalibur. Don’t worry, Arthur, size doesn’t really matter. Guinevere is there to celebrate but she senses something’s wrong. Arthur shows her the incomplete sword and tells her that his quest has just begun.

Ahead years later to the time of the Storybrooke invasion. Arthur tells David about the dagger being part of Excalibur, and recommends that they bypass Merlin and try to re-forge Excalibur themselves, chasing the darkness away forever.

Emma, meanwhile, is building dreamcatchers (great callout to season two) and hearing voices whispering in her head, calling her to the dagger. Dark Rumple leads her to the dagger in Regina’s room, but Regina’s put a protection spell on it, making it impossible for Emma to take it. She gets fed up with Dark Rumple and blasts him but nearly hits Killian, and she confesses to him that she’s never alone – someone’s always in her head.

She’s clearly not doing too well and Regina suggests that she rest. Henry knows just the place, and Killian won’t leave her side (of course), so off they go.

Once Upon A Time – Season 5, Episode 3 Recap: Arthur Is A Toadstool-Sucking Douchebag

We begin this evening in the mines with the dwarves, who get a surprise visit from Emma. She’s decided to take Happy’s pickaxe, and when he protests, she shares this bit of advice:

“When your name is on something, hold onto it.”

And I call that a serious clue. I’m calling it for sure now, though I’ve had an inkling from the beginning. I don’t think Emma is controlling her dagger, despite having it in her hands last episode. Someone else is calling the shots here. Remember when Hook begged her to tell him what happened last week? Her answer was “I wish I could tell you.” Not “no” or “Eff you” or “I’m not going to tell you,” but “I wish I could tell you.” That’s another little clue, I think.

Flashback now to Camelot where Regina’s trying to whip up a potion to free Merlin from the tree. Snow suggests that they talk directly to Merlin via a magic toadstool she located in a book called “The Crimson Crown” which grows only in the Forest of Eternal Night. (I’m sure the forest is strictly forbidden to all students at Camelot castle, too). David pawns baby Neal off on Snow and goes with Arthur, who addresses him as ‘Your Majesty’.

Helloooo? Continuity? Last week, I remarked that they introduced Snow at the royal ball as “Lady Mary Margaret” instead of Princess (or Queen) Snow White and the only explanation anyone had for that bit of inconsistency was that maybe the royals were trying to stay undercover. Obviously, that isn’t the case. Anyway, enough bitching about continuity.

Once Upon A Time – Season 5, Episode 1 Recap: Plot Devices And The Writers Who Love Them

Ohhhhh the excitement of a season premier – and this one is a doozy. Emma’s dark, Zelena’s knocked up, Henry’s an author, Hook heard ‘I Love You’, and Snow and David….uh….they found the baby. Well. That’s something, isn’t it?

We begin this evening in Minnesota, circa 1989 at a retro-viewing of The Sword in the Stone (it first came out in 1963, so I’m assuming that’s what this was). Young Emma has sneaked into the movie theater and pickpockets an airline candy bar from someone in the theater. An usher has seen her and stands over her in a really creepy way before he tells her simply: “don’t.”

He then clarifies: Emma shouldn’t do something she isn’t supposed to do. One day she’ll have the opportunity to remove Excalibur but she mustn’t. “Leave the sword alone,” he tells her, and then he disappears.

And somehow Emma never remembers this? Even after encountering all kinds of freaky crap in Storybrooke?

And now we’re away to Camelot, following Arthur and his knights as they search for Excalibur  – but someone’s beaten them to it. Sir Kay is determined to take the sword and gives it a grab over Arthur’s warning and of course, he’s poofed into dust. “Your turn,” Lancelot deadpans.

Ah, Lancelot. I missed you, you prime piece of manflesh. Damn.

Arthur finally gives it a go, pulling the sword from the stone only to find that half the sword is gone.They must find the other half – which, it turns out, has been made into the Dark One dagger.

5 Thing I Want Out Of Season 5 Of Once Upon A Time

Ah, Once. God, do I miss you. It’s been a long, long summer, but the drought is nearly over. I’m looking forward to Sunday night like a toddler whose Grandparents just won the lottery right before Christmas. We all know …