Once Upon A Time-Season 1, Episode 22 Recap: A Finale That Makes You Shout “Finally!”

As you know, I’m retro-reviewing this particular season, as I didn’t catch it when it originally aired. Since then I’ve seen a lot of character development, and a lot of secret yearnings and motivations revealed. And the truth of the matter is, tonight’s episode is the tale of two mothers: one who wins, and one who loses – and how that defines them and unravels all that they believed themselves to be.

So with that in mind, we begin tonight’s tale in a prison cell with Charming, who is beating against the bars of the cage and vowing to find his true love. He’s dragged out by the guards, and a struggle ensues. Just as we think he’s getting away, he encounters a guard with a bow, who shoots over his shoulder and kills another guard. He removes his helmet to reveal…

Our Hunksman!! Oooooh! God, do I miss Graham. I miss him hard. Hard. Soooo hard.

Where was I? Right, the recap…

Once Upon A Time – Season 1, Episode 21 Recap: Rotten To The Core

We begin tonight with an elaborate dream sequence, courtesy of Regina’s tortured subconscious. The evil she set in motion has come back to roost, and she sees the townspeople, including Henry, assembled as a mob with torches and pitchforks, ready to do her harm.

“I just wanted to win,” she sobs, “For once.” And Emma strikes the death blow with an obscenely large sword after smushing a blackened apple into moldy ooze in her hand.

Yeuuugh.

Regina wakes up panting in her bed (which can’t be the first time – she did keep a huntsman as a love slave, after all), afraid like she’s never been afraid before.

Once Upon A Time – Season 1, Episode 20 Recap: Beautiful Stranger, Growing Appendage

Tonight we begin at the apartment of Mary Margaret, where August is fixing door the with a medieval sort of deadbolt, guaranteeing no one can get in and plant a bloody murder weapon again. Mary Margaret has a pointed conversation with Emma about being ready to be Henry’s Mom, and Emma assures her that she is. In fact, she’s going to seek out Mr. Gold for legal counsel in her custody case against Regina.

Henry calls with an operation Cobra emergency, and August walks her out the door, needling her about her need to ‘see the big picture’. He asks her to take the day off, take a leap of faith, and come with him somewhere. He tells her he can show her exactly what she’s looking for.

“My kid needs me,” Emma replies, “I don’t have time for faith.”

Over at Granny’s Henry’s all-aflutter because someone has changed the book. There’s been a story added in, and it’s about…Pinocchio?

Once Upon A Time – Season 1, Episode 19 Recap: A Promise Broken, A Promise Made

“I broke one deal in my life…”

We begin this week with August, who is nursing his still-painful shin splints. He enlists the help of Henry, telling him they need to “accelerate the plan.”

He sends Henry into Mr. Gold’s shop as a distraction, while he searches the back room. Gold catches him, of course, and isn’t very happy about it. His suspicions have been aroused, and his narrowed eyes make it clear that he’s going to get to the bottom of the mystery that is August.

Over at the hospital, Emma questions Kathryn – who has no memory of anything beyond the accident. She’d been taken somewhere with food and water and clearly drugged, and eventually managed to find her way free. Dr. Whale says they’re grilling the lab technicians at the hospital, trying to figure out who doctored the DNA results on the heart.

Across town, Regina is pissed at Mr. Gold, and he points out that the resulting inquiry into the frame job is going to point right back to her. She reminds him that he created the curse that brought them all here and wants to know his agenda.

Once Upon A Time – Season 1, Episode 18 Recap: Meet Mommy Dearest (Oh Yeah, And Regina Had A True Love)

Soooo deliciously evil

We begin this episode by looking a mere week into the past, to discover that it was Mr. Gold was behind Catherine’s disappearance (and possible murder) all along. He set everything up, from the framing of Mary Margaret to the planting of the skeleton key. But why? What’s his agenda, here?

And then we fly back to the Enchanted Forest, where we get our first glimpse of Mama Cora and young Regina. It’s clear Cora is the ultimate stage mother with an agenda for Regina’s life, and she’ll use any amount of magic and condescending mompressure to get it.

Young Regina seems wild and free and idealistic. And that’s because she’s in love with Daniel, the stable boy. Aww. I kept waiting for him to drop an “As you wish” into their conversation, but I guess the writers were saving that for later (and I’m smiling as I’m typing that).

Once Upon A Time – Season 1, Episode 17 Recap: Hats Off To The Costume Designer!!

We begin by watching Mary Margaret – who runs like a girl – crashing through the forest, having just escaped from the Storybrooke jail.

Cut over to Henry looking at Alice in Wonderland in the story book. He’s at the station waiting for Emma, who shows up with Mr. Gold, only to find that Mary Margaret has flown the coop.

Emma is determined to find her before her 8am arraignment tomorrow, otherwise Mary Margaret will be a fugitive, which makes things that much worse. Gold warns her that her job could be on the line for not immediately reporting Mary Margaret’s absence, to which Emma replies: “I’d rather lose my job than my friend.”

Unfortunately, it’s a horrible, misty night with very poor visibility and Emma almost sideswipes a prime piece of mancandy. Helloooo Jefferson!

Once Upon A Time – Season 1, Episode 16: True Love Can Eff You Up

Tonight we start in the Enchanted Forest, where Prince Charming and Red Riding Hood are fending off King George’s army. Red channels her inner wolf, taking on the army and buying Charming the time he needs to get away and …

Once Upon A Time – Season 1, Episode 15: Who’s Afraid Of The Sexy, Hot, Under-Dressed Wolf?

Tonight, we get the backstory of Ruby – a.k.a. “Little Red Riding Hood.”

Ruby wants to get out of Storybrooke more than anything, and she’s hanging over a booth at Granny’s exposing gratuitous amounts of cleavage and mile-long legs as August telling her about all the places he’s been, including those with lemurs. Granny shuts that shit right down, controlling Red with an iron fist and telling her to stop flirting and get back to work.

We meet now meet Red Riding Hood back in the Enchanted Forest, and her own personal piece of mancandy, Peter.

Well, helllooooo Peter!

The two are crazy in love and so good looking I just want to watch them…do stuff. Lots of hot, nasty stuff.

Once Upon A Time – Season 1, Episode 14 Recap: Blue, The Condescending, Dream-Crushing Bitch

We open tonight’s show with our obviously novice fairy, Nova, who’s trying her best to fly straight and impress a very smug, condescending Blue Fairy, who I want to smack in her supercilious face. Is it just me? I hate Blue. I mean, I hate her. Hard. I can barely see to type this for all the hate blazing out of my eyes.

I think it’s highly likely that at some point, we’ll see an arc that shows us that she’s really the mythical “Black Fairy” that Rumple stole the dark and evil wand from (you’ll see more about this later, sorry I’m foreshadowing). I think she’s secretly evil, and she’s way more evil than Rumple. She’s got a whole Dolores Umbridge vibe going on. Know what I mean?

Once Upon A Time – Season 1, Episode 13 Recap: Princess Not-So-BitchyToes And Slut-Shaming In Storybrooke

We begin tonight with that magnificent, steely-eyed bastard George, ordering his guards to find that rebellious faux kid of his and bring him back for his forced wedding to Midas’s daughter, Abigail (a.k.a. “Princess BitchyToes”). The erstwhile Prince has disguised himself as a middle aged Russian woman (complete with red babushka) and taken a really fast horse, hoping to get to Snow before they catch up.

Meanwhile, back in Storybrooke, Princess BitchyToes’ other incarnation, Kathryn, is trying to convince David that they need to move to Boston. She’s applied to law school via the post that cannot possibly deliver or pick up from a town that doesn’t exist, and she thinks a fresh start is what they need.

Flashing back to the Enchanted Forest, Princess Abigail finds Prince Charming and stops him. It turns out to be not so bitchy after all – gee, who’d’ve thunk? She’s willing to help Charming get away because she doesn’t love him either. Damn. She’s just a sweetheart – I mean, really. Can’t even hate the girl.

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is what makes the writing on this series shine sometimes. Real life is rarely black and white, and when they embrace all those nuances, when good people get hurt even when they try to do the right thing (or choose to do the wrong thing for the right reasons), it really eats you alive.