Holy cow, it’s here. It’s finally here! The endless hiatus is over, and we are packed and ready for the highway to hell!! We begin with Emma waking up in her VW Bug on a street in Portland, and we … Continue reading
Okay, I started this list at 21- five for each season and one for season five (so far). I trimmed out some things that made me cry but landed on the happier end of the scale, I brushed aside some moments that felt like a fist in the gut and would surely make a top 40 list, but I just couldn’t get it down that low. I ended up with this. Every one of these moments brought the leakage to my eyes. Your mileage may vary, of course. So, in chronological order (to date), here they are:
1.Snow gives up baby Emma
2. Jiminy realizes he’s killed Gepetto’s parents and will be stuck with his own parents forever
To have them put this dastardly deed in his lap was just…crushing. Continue reading
Oh, Once Upon A Time, my favorite ever-flowing font of testosterone goodness. God, I miss you. Please come back to me.
In the meantime, here’s some of my favorite pieces of man-candy for you to chew on…
Sheriff Graham and his goofy grin
Or how about when he swoops in to make a cameo?
Here’s another season 1 casualty (and prime piece of meat – literally): Peter
I could devour that. Yeah, I went there. Continue reading
We begin in the Enchanted Forest during the forgotten year, and Snow and David (along with Aurora and Philip) are preparing to announce publicly that the Prince’s seed has found purchase in the fertile field of his wife’s womb. Regina’s in a gorgeous gown, but for some reason, they’ve got her in this blinding white kabuki-style makeup that just looks really…odd.
Anway, Belle shows up and tells them all about Neal’s effort to resurrect Rumple and that Zelena now has the dagger. Aurora and Regina tell Snow (looking resplendant in her maternity wear) that now isn’t the time for a baby announcement, but Snow won’t hear of it. She wants to proclaim her bloating belly and swollen ankles to the world!
That’s when Aurora confesses that the witch is after a baby, specifically Snow’s baby – mainly because Aurora and Phillip totally told Zelena they were here.
Zelena promptly turns them both into flying monkeys and freezes them all in place while she fondles Snow’s belly in a really creepy way.
We begin with an early morning meeting at Granny’s between our cadre of major characters, all wondering how in the hell it is that Rumplestiltskin is alive. Hook mentions that back in the Enchanted Forest, Neal had been searching for a way to bring his father back, hoping that his father could help him return to Emma and Henry. How Hook knows this, I don’t know, since he rode off before Neal had that conversation with Belle a few episodes ago. Screw continuity, on with the show!
Emma reminds him that no one has seen Neal – it’s possible he’s even a flying monkey. Regina wants another crack at the farmhouse – it’s possible there’s something magical there that can help them. They all agree to reconvene later.
Over on the hill above Storybrooke (there’s a hill above Storybrooke?) Zelena tries to summon The Dark One with his dagger – unsuccessfully. The Dark One has somehow broken free from the dagger’s power so she sends a monkey after him. Cue Rumple running through the forest.
Emma lets Belle know that Rumple is alive, and sets Belle looking for a clue within the shop. Hook gallantly offers to stay behind with Belle to protect her in case the witch pays a visit and Belle reminds him that he’s previously tried to kill her. Twice.
“Sorry?” he says with a sheepish grin, and Belle magnanimously chooses to accept that apology. Then again, being threatened at gunpoint wasn’t so awful for her, as I recall.
Tonight we open with our wicked, wicked villain, who seems to have a taste for the finer things in life. She paws through Regina’s leftover jewels and then sends a flying monkey off to let “The Evil Queen” know she’s all up in her house.
Meanwhile the group is trudging along, presumably to Sherwood Forest, and lo and behold – it’s Red!!
Oh, we’ve missed you, Red! Regina, meanwhile has remembered the tunnel under the castle walls that only she knows about. She can get inside, lower the protection spell, and then David and Snow can send in their army.
Just as Regina lays out the plan, a screeching comes from overhead and they’re attacked by monkeys again. One heads straight for little Roland, and Regina steps in front of the boy to protect him, then turns the monster into a stuffed animal for Roland to enjoy. This earns her the thanks and more importantly, the interest of a certain outlaw.
We begin this much anticipated post-hiatus episode with a prince, charging through the countryside on his valiant steed – and it turns out it’s Phillip. A pregnant Aurora is waiting for him by the ever-used gazebo when suddenly a magic cloud dumps the entire population of Storybrooke in the field next to them.
“We’re back,” Snow announces sadly.
Over in New York, Emma makes an entrance a la Season One, wearing a hot dress and sky-high heels, and she’s meeting what appears to be her boyfriend. What the hell!!!
They’re talking about work and Henry and it’s clear they’ve got some history together, however brief. He seems as though he’s a thoughtful guy, and Emma is clearly happy – which is an odd thing to see on this show, it really is. And for the record – Jen Morrison looks ten years younger when she smiles. I’m glad they’re letting her do that. She’s a beautiful girl, but when she smiles she’s just breathtaking.
Her boyfriend gets up to “see to something” and everyone’s favorite leather-clad pirate slides right into his seat, startling Emma who has a clear memory of nailing him in the ‘nads with a knee earlier that day.
Hook begs her to hear him out. He tells her that everything she believes about herself is wrong and then he slides a slip of paper with an address across the table at her. Emma tells him to get lost and he looks at her with those fathomless blue eyes and says “I know you, Swan. You sense that something is off.” He asks her to go to the address written on the paper, and when she’s through, he’ll be waiting in Central Park.