Once Upon A Time Season 7, Episode 14: Alice Gets Her Wish

[Thanks so much to all of you for your well-wishes! I’m on track to be out of the hospital on March 30th, if the food here doesn’t kill me first. Then loads of outpatient therapy to help me regain the use of my left hand. I’ll be a frustrated one-handed writer for a while, but I’ll manage.]

We open tonight in the alt-realm, where a slightly younger-than-now Alice is singing herself a birthday song (the “Merry Unbirthday” song from Alice in Wonderland, in case you were curious) and then she blows out a lone candle and makes a fateful birthday wish. Suddenly, the place starts shaking and crumbling around her as we meet her new BFF – and he happens to be a BFG with a penchant for smashing towers and rescuing damsels stuck in towers.

Forward to Hyperion Heights, and Tilly is having a heart-to-heart talk with the underpass troll, who is clearly her old pal the BFG in stone form. As she regales him with her sorrows, Rogers pulls up and reaffirms his belief in her innocence, and together they sweep off to the safety of Henry’s apartment to try and retrace Tilly’s footsteps at the time of the murder to hopefully find an alibi. Problem is, Tilly can’t remember a thing from the previous hours. Rogers and Henry head off to scour the town, and a bored Tilly settles in to wait with a copy of (awwww) Robin Hood, when she notices a produce sticker on the bottom of her shoe. Armed with a clue, she takes off to re-trace her path.

Back again to the alt-realm, and Alice is watching her beloved Papa and the rebel camp  through a spyglass. Unfortunately this makes her look like a spy, and our young Robin is right on that. She captures Alice and the sparks begin to fly. Oh, do these two have chemistry. Please, writers, I know there aren’t many episodes left, but don’t turn this into ten minute insta-love. Please.

And since I can’t describe this scene without losing some well-written and fabulously portrayed banter, I’ll just leave this here:

Robin throws a monkey-wrench in the budding friendship by announcing that she’s on a mission. She’s going after a certain giant that’s roaming the countryside. Alice begs her to leave her BFFBFG alone and chases after her.

In Hyperion Heights, Regina and Lucy are hatching a plan to spy on Dr. Facilier. Zelena walks in on their plotting and Regina does a bad job covering up the fact that she’s about to go on a date with Dr. Evil.

Across town, Henry and Ivy are having cocoa (sigh) and Henry is wallowing over his relationship woes. He also suggests that Ivy apologize to her sister and Ivy assures him that when she starts apologizing, he’ll be at the top of her list. She is sincerely sorry for the harm she’s done to him, and it shows (oh, my heart . . .these two should be together, they really, really should). With that regret on her mind, she’s off to find Anastasia.

Over at the grocery store, Tilly triumphantly flashes her produce sticker at the owner and asks if she remembers her- the answer is a puzzling “no.” Neither does the butcher, which is even stranger as he doesn’t remember Tilly at all despite the fact that she stops there every day for a marmalade sandwich. It goes without saying that a butcher selling marmalade sandwiches is strange, as well. This confuses and upsets Tilly even further to the point that she thinks she’s invisible.

She finds Rogers and Henry to fill them in on her dilemma, and then in a spur-of-the-moment dumpster dive, she finds her backpack.

Surprise! The bag contains locks of hair from the murder victims, which freaks Tilly out even more. She takes off, with Rogers determined to go after her.

Back in the alt-realm, Robin and Alice find a local tavern where a torch and pitchfork toting mob is assembling to go after that pesky giant. Robin, determined to take up her father’s mantle and make a name for herself as Robin Hood 2.0, vows to get the giant herself. Before the town bully can finish mocking her, Alice leaps to her BFFBFG’s defense. The bully brands her a giant troll lover, and as he moves to eliminate her, Robin steps in. The crowd surrounds them and the two get hauled off to a cell to keep them out of the way.

While they’re temporarily confined (Robin is the daughter of a famous thief, after all), they each share a listening ear and a sympathetic shoulder. Tilly details the loneliness of a life spent separated from the one you love and Robin details the loneliness of being a young girl surrounded by loved ones both quaint and impossibly heroic. There’s a shared comfort here that’s so warm and genuine, and rather than push it further. the writers wisely leave it at Robin gently tucking a strand of hair behind Alice’s ear before she busts them both out of there.

In Hyperion Heights, Lucy is searching Dr. Facilier’s room and sees the death card prominently featured in his current reading. She pockets the card and keeps looking. Meanwhile, Regina and the doctor have finished lunch and are surprised as they stroll arm-in-arm by a furious Zelena. Facilier excuses himself so they can slug it out, and a frantic Regina confesses to her sis that the date was a diversion and Lucy is now in danger since Facilier is headed back there.

Lucy gets Regina’s text in the nick of time as Facilier returns. She makes a getaway after hiding under his table, but not before he notes the missing card.

Over at the Troll, Tilly is once again pouring her heart out to her cement friend before she nearly gets flattened by a passing car. She is saved at the last minute by an adorkable modern-day Robin who has just returned from Tibet. Tilly babbles about being invisible and possibly mad, and Robin is unfazed and chill about it. She’s also carrying her favorite read: Alice in Wonderland.

Rogers finds Tilly and once again asks her to retrace her steps. As she rattles off, she realizes there’s a red light behind the troll’s eye. Rogers then remembers that there’s a newly-installed security camera behind that eye due to the previous graffiti issue, and a pull of that footage shows Tilly there at the time of the murder, establishing not only an alibi, but the fact that someone is trying to frame her.

Back to the alt-realm now, and the gathering angry mob is interrupted by Robin and Alice, who are now on a mission to save the giant troll. The mob will have none of that, and they’re soon surrounded. We see Alice close her eyes and wish for rescue and suddenly a blue Ford Anglia a yellow VW Bug bursts through the trees and they hop in.

As they make their getaway, Robin points out the fact that Alice clearly has magic, and encourages Alice to talk to her giant troll friend, since she conjured him in the first place. They find the big guy and Alice (in a monologue that hits you square in the feels) reassures him that she’s okay now, and ready to roam free in this big, beautiful world.

The troll grabs the Bug and hunkers down, turning into the stony fellow we know him as today. In the follow-up scene, it’s once again Alice’s birthday, and Robin has brought her a slice of cake with a candle. Alice makes a wish, and blows out the candle.

Ahead in Hyperion Heights, Regina is confronted by Dr. Facilier about Lucy’s snoopfest, and Regina demands to know who drew the death card. Facilier doesn’t bother with subterfuge – he flat-out tells her he’s after the Dark One. After he strolls off, Regina pours Zelena a conciliatory drink and lets her in on Facilier’s plan. She also confesses her “feelings” for him.

Robin strolls in, and after a huggy reunion moment, Zelena commiserates with Regina over the whole “I’m woke and my kid isn’t” thing.

And we end with Rogers tracking Tilly down at her warehouse hangout – the only home she has. He tells her he’s worried about her, and offers to let her stay in his spare bedroom while they figure out who’s trying to frame her. And we all look like this:

I’m giving this one five birthday candles out of five.

Finally, the great banter, the heart, and the sense of wonder that made me fall in love with this show in the first place. That could have easily been a season one episode.

My thoughts:

1. Rose Reynolds absolutely nailed it tonight. I am so in love with Alice and with the way they’re building Alice and Robin. Just like Snow and Charming, we know they’re already set in stone, but the fun is seeing how they get there.
2. Regina. NO. Just NO.
3. Henry needs some agency. All he does is hang out in other people’s scenes and act supportive.
4. What did Alice wish near the end? And how will that come in handy?

What are your thoughts? Are you as in love with Alice as I am?